The Chunin Exams: Sand Sibling Style!
by Gaara'sgrl
Summary: If you like Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro you'll love this account of the exams through their eyes. Sarcasum galore and, hillariously funny. Chapter 2 is up sorry it took so long.
1. Phase one: Kankuro style

_Alright I have come out with another idea; I have decided to post this one which was an idea that came to me at 11:30 last night. I love Naruto and my favorite character is Gaara. I decided that the Chunin exams were taking too long to finish and we fans need some comedy right? So since the sand ninja seem to be pretty sarcastic I made this one about them. Now I know this can seem pretty sarcastic and mean at times, but I really do like this show. I just want some comedy, so this story is the Chunin exams in the P.O.V.'s of Gaara, his Sister Temari, and their brother Kankuro._

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, if I did I would actually be able to draw, that would be really cool, but I can't so I sit here writing fics for you fine people. **

**Chapter 1: The Chunin exams**

**Stage one: Kankuro style**

Ha! That was so easy, after pretending I had to go to the bathroom all I had to do was kick that Procter's butt. Now he's locked up in a closet, knocked out, and I have a puppet replica of him that got me the answers. So on my way back to that oh so conferrable wooden chair, under the unforgiving glare of florescent lights I'll drop the cheat-sheet of to Temari. We don't need to worry about Gaara he may be younger, but he's smart besides he doesn't like me and probably wouldn't take it. Okay now I have about 20 minutes left before they announce what the 10th question is.

5 minutes later

This stinks, I am already bored with this stupid waiting. The kid in front of me finally got pissed off enough at my frequent poking of the back of his head, and he is now leaning so far forward that I can't reach him. The guy on my right bit me after I poked him, it's not my fault he doesn't like Kunai knife's piercing his flesh. I fear maybe I have a disease now, damn hidden mist village, he had some sharp teeth. The girl on my right is too absorbed in the correct answer to number 7 to realize that I have tied her ankles together with strings of chakra. Maybe I should tell her that she is so absorbed in the test that she didn't know that she is writing her answer in the wrong space, oh and upside down too, that's a new one. Oh well, let's see her get up with those strings around her ankles, that will be hilarious.

2 minutes later

I have officially found a new form of entertainment. Because my proctor puppet is attached to my fingers with chakra strings all I have to do is reach up and scratch the back of my neck, and the guy picks his nose! It's hilarious to see the other genin, and the chunin proctor's alike to look up and realize that the guy in the corner is almost poking his brain. I do not think of this as a distraction, more of a public service. The way I see it, with the guards distracted many more people can get away with cheating, if they can tear their eyes away from my magnificent show of course. In fact the only people who don't seem to notice are that guy in the orange jumpsuit, and the girl next to him. The guy is acting like a constipated moose; I doubt he is doing very well on his test. The girl next to him seems to be trying to give him the answers as a laxative. Funny thing is he won't take them, man if I was in that position I would shove my pride. I mean everything is perfect, someone gives you the answers, and the guard is being distracted by his college's gold digging. I'm telling you, if my face was that color red I would just cheat, at this rate this guy is going to have a stroke by the time he's 13. Oh well, more fun for me, (I will have no comments about the color of my face at this time, thank you.)

5 minutes later

Okay well now I'm bummed, the head proctor in the "matrix" robe just got up and gave my puppet a tissue. I guess that form of entertainment is now out. We have 8 minutes left in this stupid test, and my hand is starting to swell up from that bite earlier. The orange clad moron has made his decision not to cheat, but it looks like he might cry now. Oh well, once again more fun for me.

4 minutes later

Okay, no more Mr. nice guy I have officially decided, if you haven't finished cheating by now I am going to ruin it. I helped you morons and if you didn't take advantage of that opportunity, then too bad. I'll ruin it now, let's see, first I will break the Leaf village's mirror on the ceiling, pathetic excuse for cheating if you ask me. Next I will hit the guy with the veins around his temples with my pencil that should cause him to loose concentration. Oh, and for good measure I could throw a dog treat in the corner, so that whiter mutt will stop spying for his parka-clad master and go eat it. Now I own you all, I decide who gets away with what and for how long, not that dumb proctor.

3 minutes later

Okay, now the giant dude is standing up and writing on the board. Finally this torture is almost over, just one more question. As the proctor clears his thought I relise, he's gonna give us a speech before the question. Damnit!

Blah, blah, blah, well I'm not giving up here that would be dumb. Looks like the orange jumpsuit guy is contemplating it though. Oh he's raising his hand…and now the idiot is yelling about how he'll never give up. I wonder if I pull on one of those chakra strings connected to the mirror on the ceiling, maybe I can hit his head with it when it falls. Do everyone a favor that would. All he had to do was sit there, but no only he turned it into a damn soap opera. Oh, well now we get to the all important 10th question.

5 minutes later

I stand corrected, only the jumpsuit kid, and his friend Mr. Matrix proctor turn a test question into a soap opera. Here's the kicker though, there was no question, I sit through a huge dramatic lecture for absolutely nothing. Oh well, at least I had some laughs along the way. Now to find my little brother and sister to see what they thought about faze one. Oh and maybe get the real proctor out of the coat closet, I mean we don't need him anymore. Plus I want to see his face when his friends ask if he was trying to become an ancient Egyptian corpse, and remove his brain through his nose. The girl from my left just fell face first to the floor…HA!


	2. Phase one: Temari style

_Alright guys I am back! Sorry I forgot the disclaimer on my last chapter, but I'll say that the one I put down today will count for all the previous and post chapters to this one. I can get a little spacey about those sometimes. Oh and the bye bye notes from me I can forget to write those sometimes. I guess that I am boring you huh? I tend to ramble on and on a lot, so without further ado, I give you CHAPTER TWO: and the crowd goes wild_

**Disclaimer: I do not own the show, or the characters. But the things that happen during the test are totally my experience.**

**Series One: Temari Style**

Looks like someone has engraved graffiti on the desk, it says "Neji +Tenten" oh and it's even in a little heart too. Well if that isn't…pathetic I don't know what is……..Okay I admit I wrote that one, as a sand ninja I have an aptitude for practical jokes, or more commonly pranks. This one was almost pure evil, the gennin called Hyuuga Neji is sitting next to me, and he has absentmindedly doodled the girl's name all over his scrap paper. As soon as I noticed and engraved this message into the table his face turned as red as the tomatoes we had with dinner last night. This is very fun for me.

We have fifteen minutes left in our testing, until they unleash the drama known as the 10th question. I am enjoying watching my fellow competitors. It is keeping my attention, for now.

2 minutes

Something miraculous has happened; my older brother's IQ has just lowered past its normal level. Which is usually about that of a goldfish, but now I would rank it somewhere between that of a worm and a rock. His new form of entertainment seems to be making a hugely grotesque scene in the corner. He has his proctor puppet's finger so far up its face that I do believe its eye will pop out. Oh Gods! (A/N: Plural like as if from Egypt, they had many gods like Ra and Anubis. I figured that because they came from the desert the situation may be the same) If I wasn't here Gaara probably would've killed Kankuro by now. Probably because Gaara has since enough to try to stop him from doing something stupid, like now.

Enough about my brothers they aren't important. Okay I admit saying that in front of Gaara is not a good idea, he will stop listening to me. I am bored but the proctor is watching me, and if I try to do something now they may think it is cheating. Don't worry boys I am already done with that I promise. Okay something not so bad, how about re-applying my makeup? First the eyeliner, it should be in my pocket. AGH of core not, Gaara must not have given it back to me this morning. This is dumb; I need a safe for my makeup now. First it was Kankuro steeling my purple lipstick when he ran out of face paint, and now I can't even get my eyeliner back from my BROTHER!

Oh wait look a whole bunch of sand has just materialized on my desk. Great Gaara are you going to get my test dirty now? Oh well let's see if he is going to apologize, no the note says: "Can I kill him now?" What no apology? Fine, I write two words down on the paper that's all I'll need he is smart enough to get it. The paper now says "Dimmit Gaara." I tap my pencil twice, the sign for Gaara to take back the note.

During the wait I sit back and try to think of a way to get Kankuro's intelligence back to its normal level. As the note reappears I realize that there is no possible way to do that, all I have to do is glance at the puppet in the corner and all the faith I have in him (which isn't much) slips from my body and into the void. Looking back down at the note I see Gaara's handwriting form the words: "I gave you your eyeliner back! Look at our dear sweet brother."

Okay in retrospect I was paying too much attention to the puppet when I should've been looking at the puppet master. Looking at him now I almost fall off my chair with amazement at my older brother's stupidity. Instead of purple face paint he has finally cracked and drawn thin black lines into his normal pattern.

AGH WHAT A MORON!

I quickly scribble thanks to Gaara, pull out my scrap paper and begin to write a plan to get my revenge on Kankuro.

4 minutes later

I have come up with a foolproof plan of revenge. Sitting back with satisfaction, I glance back at my work it says:

_Kankuro's Downfall_

_Walk up to his room door_

_Knock overly loudly_

_Run away_

My evil plot begins to be covered in sand, and I realize that Gaara wants to see it. When the paper returns a note is pinned to it that says: "It took you that long to think up a ding-dong-ditch?" Looking back at my plan I realize why it seemed too familiar to me. Thinking fast I add steps 4-7.

_sneak up behind him ( the team has joint rooms)_

_Hit him on the back of his head with a algebra textbook (All they are good for anyway)_

_Get my eyeliner back_

_Laugh evilly_

I tap my pencil again and sit down to wait.

2 minutes later

Gaara's reply was slow to come, but when it does his handwriting is shaky as if he had been laughing while he wrote it. There were only two words; his reply is "That's pathetic."

The reason he doesn't like it is because there's no death of a certain puppeteer. I am sorry Gaara, but we need him for now and killing him over eyeliner seems so…melodramatic. Oh well, Gaara will get over it. I'll take him squirrel hunting later. That way he can get out some of that repressed anger. After he killed his last 17 shrinks we had to come up with something else to calm him down. Strangely squirrel hunting works really well. It probably has something to do with the fact that Gaara despises anything cute and fluffy. Especially raccoons for some odd reason Gaara hates the poor animals. Hmm, and until a couple of moths ago I thought he liked them. Infact Kankuro went so far as to say raccoons were Gaara's inspiration a couple of times. Usually the day after he showed up to training with a couple of extra bruises though.

3 minutes later

Finally the proctor has looked away, it's fun time! I catch the eye of a mist ninja sitting across the way and smile. He smiles back and glances toward the top of my mesh undershirt. When he looks back at me I wink, and raise my eyebrows suggestively. The mist Nin's mouth falls open. I should have mentioned before the guy is nerdy looking and his contact with girls is clearly limited to the one on his team who I am guessing has never done this before. The boy turns bright red, worse then the Hyuuga sitting next to me, perfect. Finally I wink one more time, and wait for him to go into dream land.

1 minute later

It worked, he is gone off into a land where only the gods know what will happen, poor them. I touch my fan, and ever so slightly blow a warm mist over his paper. The water mixes with the ink and the wind smears his already messy handwriting into little black rivers crossing his paper like snakes. The trick gets them every time; hopefully he'll choke on the upcoming 10th question and he and his teammates will be disqualified. Hey no one said I didn't prank, mine are just usually more strategic then Kankuro's. The pranks I play actually help our team, and there is no danger of any of the guys I play on coming up to me. Either they are too shy or Gaara gives him the, "Touch my sister and I'll neuter you right here look." That is the one thing our father taught him. Sometimes it is really annoying, but you get used to it. As a kazekage you don't get that much attention anyway. Okay this is funny; everyone is getting all nervous about the next question. The one who is the most nervous is a guy in an orange jumpsuit with blonde hair like a porcupine. I see Kankuro looking towards him and immediately know what he is thinking: Constipated Moose. Oh great, not again.

2 minutes later

I pull my trick on two others. The first one it worked like a charm he went off faster then the other one. The second looked like a good pick, a guy with long dark hair pulled up in a pony tail who was with the strange guy who yelled this morning. He seemed lazy enough to be nerdy, and he finished his test really fast. When I tried it on him it all seemed to work, until the very last part, when I winked at him, he winked back. That has never happened before, who is this guy?

1 minute later

Okay the big guy with the funny head is writing the "special rules" for the next question. How lame, like he could stop me from being a ninja if I got it wrong. I know it is stupid, but I am a kazekage he couldn't stop me if he tried. So it doesn't matter at all, but a bunch of the others are starting to sweat. This is going to be entertaining. So far a whole bunch of people have quit and Kankuro's moose guy is yelling something. How lame.

5 minutes later

There was no question, some stupid mind game about bravery. Well oh well, now we get to go kick some butt in the practical part that'll make Gaara happy.

Kankuro just erupted into laughter he is practically screaming. I hit him on the back of the head when I realize he tied someone's feet to a chair so they would fall. I haven't done that since 1st grade.

When he finishes laughing he turns to us and says,

"Did you guys see that kid in the orange outfit? He looked like a constipated moose."

I sigh, here we go again.

_Alright guys I am sorry I took so long to update. Just had a lot to do. The next one is Gaara, hope I get him right. crosses fingers_

_Anyway I love getting reviews from you guys, keep 'em coming. If you guys have any ideas about Gaara's opinions put them in reviews I am hoping to get him right 'cause I luv him and you guy's help will really matter. I don't pretend to know everything about him so tell me what you think. Remember it'll be his opinions on the first exam for now. Thanks bunches. R&R_

_GG _


End file.
